Boy mom.

I wrote this a few years ago and came across it- my son is now 13. This little gem made me laugh out loud, which I haven’t done much of lately so I thought I would share…

2019-

Let me start by saying I love BOTH of my children. God graced me with a boy and girl and they are the best kids for this momma.

However…

Being a mom of a boy is SO different!

Since he was in my belly he was a total PAIN. He never let me sleep. I slept in three hour increments all the time. I was induced at 36 weeks because I had trouble breathing and was legit beached whale status.

This boy would scream and kick every time I left his sight as an infant. As soon as I was back within his sight he would laugh and stop.

During his potty training stage he would always take his diaper off, pee in his pack and play then go back to sleep butt naked. He once took his diaper off and went into his sisters room and I hear, “MOM BUBS POOPING IN MY FLOOR!!” I run in there and sure enough the kid was squatting in her bedroom floor, red faced, bearing down as if he hadn’t crapped in a week, shitting a pile that I’m still not sure was human. How can a little kid poop such a huge pile?

I couldn’t get him potty trained as easily as my daughter. I finally decided to tell him to go pee on trees outside and all a sudden he was peeing NOT in his pull up.

I thought after a few years of being potty trained it was all good. However, one day I was doing my make up and he ran in the bathroom and told me not to look because he had to pee. I said okay and out of the corner of my eye I noticed he was facing the wrong direction. I look down and my wonderful son was peeing in the cats litter box. Yep- I asked what he was doing and he calmly explained to me that the kitties didn’t care. Apparently they had told him it was fine.

Rotten. Rotten as can be.

Even being so rotten, he’s my mommy’s boy. Always has been. He clung to me when he started school. Cried every day for half the year. He’s my baby.

Now he’s 10.

He makes Minecraft suits from boxes. Soda boxes, shoe boxes, whatever he can find. He’s gifted in school. He’s such a creative child. Both of my kids are creative people. One draws and the other builds.

There are days, like today, I’m reminded of that rotten boy.

Today he told me he thinks TSA asks him who I am to him because I have crazy hair and a different last name. I tried explaining its to make sure he’s not being kidnapped but he insists I just do not look like his mom. Then while waiting at the gate for our plane he sits on a metal piece on the floor, legs open, playing on his phone and then he FARTED. People looked at him, I said DUDE! He laughed, shut his legs and went back to his phone.

Rotten. Just rotten.

Oh and yesterday he had flip written on his finger and when I asked why and laughed and explained you flip, then pull and then his palm says “IM SINGLE AS A PRINGLE”. I laughed my butt off and asked if that’s how he tells ladies he’s single and he got red faced, dead serious…

“No. I just write stuff on my hand.”

Alright then man…

Life with this kid is never boring.

Boys are so different.

It’s the best life.