Nursing School.

If you picked this up to read about the ups and downs of nursing school… or maybe even looking for tips… you’ve got the wrong article. Nursing school is hard, it takes a lot of work and dedication, little sleep and many tears. However, that’s not what I’m here to tell you.

October 4, 2021 I started a full time nursing program. I was so excited to begin this journey until I woke up that day to a phone being pushed in my face while my daughter looked at me with unbelief. “Hello”, I mumbled half asleep and it was my cousin on the other end, who told me my mother had died early that morning in the ER I worked at the night before. I didn’t believe her. She was fine, she had to be.

I quickly called the ER and spoke with the charge nurse who verified that yes my mom was gone and was in the morgue. She transferred me to the chaplain who agreed to take me down to see her. I had to see her. I had to know it was real. The tears streamed quickly down my face as I stumbled around the bedroom to find clothes. My husband, daughter and I climbed into the truck and drove to the hospital. It was as if time slowed down. As I walked into the morgue and saw her auburn hair, it was all reality. She had no life left in her and I never got to say goodbye. I rubbed her hair back and just thought of all the things I wish I could say. A part of me wanted to climb on the metal tray her body rested on and never leave her side but I knew my family needed me outside that building. As I said my goodbyes a drop of fluid ran down her cheek as if to tell me goodbye as well. My life would never be the same without her. I had promised her I would finish school. I had hoped she would see me graduate but I would have to do it without her there in person and I wouldn’t let her down. A week later my husbands grandmother died and in that week we lost two amazing, Godly women in our lives. We then bought a house and moved and got ready for the holidays and it wasn’t long until I finished that horrible quarter and I did quite well considering.

My second quarter I got the flu. I was extremely sick and felt like death. My fever was relentless and to make matters worse, my husband was out of town on work. My kids are always a big help but sometimes you just miss your husband. He came home at the end of my flu. About a week after he was home he started to feel sick and we assumed he got the flu but nope, he had COVID. A few days after he tested positive, I tested positive and then my son was positive! Thankfully it wasn’t horrible for me this round but my husband was down for a good ten days and my son was fine in less than a week! Again, back to school, finished well.

Going into the third quarter I just didn’t think anything else could go wrong… well with my temper and incessant need to storm off, I fell down my stairs and broke my foot, sprained my ankle and was in a boot for a little over 12 weeks. That was basically the entire third quarter. Summer gone- just no fun at all! I still passed, did well actually.

The fourth quarter wasn’t as horrible. However, my daughter went on a trip and was in a car accident with her grandparents. Thankfully, everyone was okay. Well, except the deer they hit going down the highway. My heart sank with that phone call/text message. It’s a call you never forget, even when everyone is okay. Again, I passed the quarter and did well.

Now, here I am in my fifth quarter. I have officially started clinicals and I get COVID. It was much worse than the first time I got it. I had a fever for about six days and just felt exhausted no matter what I did. Well, COVID doesn’t last forever and I got better. I scheduled make up clinical for later in the month and was back on track. Or so I thought…

Driving home from clinical I was in a car accident. An elderly gentleman pulled out in front of me and I couldn’t stop in time. I hit him and everything went black. I came too and was in a ditch with his car resting alongside mine. I put my car in park, searched for my phone, and started to assess my injuries. “There’s blood coming from my mouth, my finger is broke… I think that’s it,” I thought to myself. I called my mother in law and told her what happened and then realized I needed to check on the man. I climbed out of my jeep and when I stepped down I knew my ankle was broke, but I made my way around the jeep and saw the man. “Sir, are you okay?” I asked with no response. I asked again, but louder. “I don’t think so…” the man mumbled. I asked him his name and he told me and it wasn’t long after he went unresponsive. There were so many people who stopped and were asking if I needed help, if I was okay, then emergency response showed up and took me off to the side since I was bleeding and they wanted to assess my injuries. I told them what happened, I told them my injuries that I knew of and they took the man away and then me. I am back in a boot, same foot as before, for hopefully just 6 weeks. I had surgery on my finger to reduce or “put back in place”, a screw was placed, and oh, the blood in my mouth was from a hole inside my bottom lip from hitting the steering wheel. They stitched it up and it’s healing nicely. Other than that I have many contusions, I had a concussion that caused some memory issues and brain fog, nausea, but that has gotten better. I almost forgot- the day after surgery my husband left for Florida for work again and my daughter left to visit her dad. I had my son for two days before he went to his dads but I quickly adapted and have spent the quiet time resting and listening to Gods word preached.

The man I hit is still in the hospital and I worry every day about him. I am behind in school but working to catch up and praying God helps me to remember and retain information so I can pass this quarter. Even with all of this, everything we have gone through this last year… God has helped my husband and I grow closer, He has refined us to be more like Him, we have grown closer to our church and family and although I don’t know His plan in all of this mess of a life… I know it’s going to glorify Him. God is in control. He kept me alive and with few injuries.

Nursing is hard… you give yourself to others every day. You turn the other cheek when you are crapped on and don’t think twice about it. You care more about other people and making sure they are okay than you do yourself. I have worked in the ER off and on for years as a tech and I genuinely love what I do. But I love it more now that I understand what I’m doing. God gave me a heart to care for others and I am to use that to glorify Him. I do all things unto Him.

Glory to God in all things. ❤️